Even with the extensive help of P&G International Tax Services, we are mailing our taxes from Germany on June 13 to meet the postmark deadline of June 15. Matt hands me four envelopes all addressed to different US tax locations: “Can you mail these today?”

Schade.

I’ve yet to walk out of a German post office with anything but a knot in my neck. Once, I asked the post office woman for a set of international postcard stamps, please – in rehearsed, halfway OK German, I think – and she got really mad at me for some reason.

“International postcard stamps?” (scowl)

“Yes, please.” (polite smile)

“Well how many do you want?” (scowl deepening)

“Um, I don’t know, perhaps 10?” (maintaining polite smile)

“Ugh.” (rummages through a drawer of stamp sets angrily). “Here is a set of 10. Is that what you want?” (slams the stamps on the counter).

“Um, yes, please?”

“Ugh.” (major sigh)

Today was no exception. I walk into the post office and notice it is a man I haven’t interacted with before – he looks nice! Perhaps near retirement, and kind to the woman before me. This is going to work out! I ask the man politely for four international stamps with insurance and tracking. Happily, he can understand me! But then he scowls.

“What kind of envelopes are these, American?”

“Um, yes, they are. Is that a problem?”

(huge sigh) “Can you see that these are not German envelopes? They are half a centimeter longer!” He brings out a measuring template to show me – folding one end of my envelope back just a smidge to illustrate that it almost fits, but not quite. “This will be 3,70€! If you had used a German envelope it would be 1,70€!” (shakes his head and stares at me).

“Um.” (how do I say I don’t really care at this point, that we’ve printed and signed about 120 pages of US Letter tax forms, Matt has addressed the envelopes in really neat lettering, and we’re verging on missing the deadline altogether? I don’t).

He sighs (a popular reaction with the post office folks, not unlike home) and starts printing out the stamps and receipts. He isn’t happy with me. “That’ll be 18,80€.”

At this point, I realize I CAN SAVE THE WHOLE THING. I rummage through my change purse and hand the man a 20€ note, a 2€ coin, a 1€ coin, a 0,50€ coin, a 0,20€ coin, and a 0,10€ coin. You see, GERMANS HATE TO GIVE CHANGE and will do anything to hand you back a bill if they can – including asking you if you have various coins before they hand you theirs.

The man does a double take. I can almost hear him thinking, “Wait…but she’s American! How does she know…“

A relaxing of the shoulders. A smile as he hands me the 5€ note. “Es ist nicht so einfach. Ich weiß. Schön Tag noch.” (It is not so easy. I know. Have a nice day)

I walk out into the sunshine, another German test passed, maybe not with flying colors, but with a solid C at least. It’s a good day.