Hello everyone!! I haven’t posted in a while so thought I would kick off Monday with some fresh thoughts now that the US unfortunately looks to be joining Europe in this major COVID-19 crisis. First off: THANK YOU to everyone who has reached out to us in the past few days – it seriously means so much. Not only for your concern and messages of love, but I always love hearing from you, what your families are up to, how you all are coping, and I love being able to pass along your stories to Matt and our kids. It makes us all so happy to hear about everything in your lives – the good, the bad, the funny, and the sometimes ugly – these are the things that will help us all keep our heads, stay positive, and ultimately get through this time. Thank you!!!

In short, we are all good here. We would much rather be weathering this storm with YOU, of course – talking over fences, going for 6-meter-distant walks, laughing over old memories, making new ones. But if we can’t be in the US, Germany is as good a place as any, I think. The people here are a good mix of slow-to-panic, society-minded, rule-following, yet independent thinkers who seem to understand the balance of doing the right thing for everyone while making sure to stay level-headed and sane. Yes, we have had major food and paper product shortages, and a few scary days where it seemed like milk and meat and even fresh fruits and vegetables weren’t going to make it to our table that night. We still can’t get flour or toilet paper or paper towels – all have been out for almost 3 weeks now. There are definitely some people who are panic-buying, looking sideways at their fellow walkers, and wearing the stress on their faces. But for the most part, we see mostly unflappable Germans – out walking, riding bikes, buying their share of the day’s groceries and no more, smiling and saying Guten Morgen, keeping their kindness in a time when it’s hard to. We are thankful to have learned a little German since we’ve been here, so we aren’t discriminated against in ways we can observe. (We can’t say the same for our Asian friends who are here). Despite the shortages, we’re usually able to get enough at the grocery for a couple of days; we have enough cereal, pasta, & rice to keep us going for a couple of weeks if we need. I am worried about the toilet paper situation and thinking through rationing or ‘other strategies’ (Matt is hoarding the weekly neighborhood newspaper in the garage – gross!!).

We don’t know anyone who has the virus yet, but I’m not sure we would – I’ve heard there’s a stigma associated with getting it, and with all of us so isolated, it would be easy enough to catch and recover in the privacy of your own home.

Rowan and Cara are doing so well with the situation so far – I sort of think that moving here and ‘losing’ things they loved in that process have given them good practice for the things they are ‘losing’ now. They are enjoying videoconferencing with classmates and teachers, having a homeschool schedule, and the fact that we have so much more time now to do those things we enjoy, but never seem to have time for. Water fights, puzzles, long bike rides, ping pong, planting seeds and watching them grow, laying in the sunshine, hiking in the forest, painting crafts, baking, building Legos, charades, podcasts, reading books out loud to each other, you name it, we’re doing it. Of course, we did some of those things before, but now we have hours and hours to do them, and every time the kids ask, I’m able to say, for the most part, ‘Sure! What else are we doing?’ They love it.

Matt has been working from home for a little more than a week now, and while the first few days were tough just finding routines, space, internet times, food, cleaning schedules, etc, we are all settled into a rhythm I never really thought we’d find. I get up early for a long walk and German podcasts…Matt does breakfast and ‘goes’ to work…the kids read and play until 9am. Then school starts…they both have morning Zoom meetings with their class, instructional videos, activities to complete and post online, and now they’re starting to have ‘Specials’ assignments too in German, Music, PE, and Art. They get two recesses a day, knock off around 3pm, and then it’s off for a hike or bike before dinner, then something fun, then bed. Most days, I think they brush their teeth twice, but there’s no real way of knowing. Most days, I think I’ve taken a shower, but maybe it was the day before…or the day before that? Have we washed our sheets? It’s impossible to tell.

And yeah, we’ve cancelled pretty much all the fun things we thought we’d get to do here, at least through May – big and small – but, you have, too. No one is winning here, not yet, and I feel most sorry for the kids everywhere who are reaching milestones of all kinds in such a difficult time. What buoys me is the surety, though, that they will grow up with a level of resilience and toughness that comes with living through hardship. And while I would rather be on vacation in the short term, in the long term I hope we will feel grateful for what we’ve endured, what we’ve learned, and how we reacted. I hope I will be proud of how we acted in this time and not embarrassed – that we helped others when we could, that we kept our family and friends going, that we prepared enough but not too much, that we kept our humanity and compassion.

Overall, I rotate between feeling really grateful, happy, and calm, to panicked, stressed, and anxious. I have noticed that the latter feelings are mostly brought on by things I can’t control – the news, the numbers, the opinions, the predictions, how long this will last, the way some people just don’t seem to care to follow the rules the rest of us are. So, I’m trying to minimize how much time I spend with all of those things – focusing instead on the gifts we are given – time with my kids, time to relax with them, to know them for who they are and not always in the context of what else is going on around us. Time with my husband, time to reflect on all the super fun things we’ve gotten to do over the years, time to think about the future, whatever that future looks like. Time to think about all of you, and how thankful I am to you for your love, your friendship, your support, your sense of humor, your wisdom, your acceptance, and all the things you have taught me through the years and all the ways you’ve made life better. This virus is like any other awful thing – it can take away a lot, but it can’t ever take away the love we give and the love we feel, not as long as we don’t let it.

Well, this got pretty deep and pretty reflective – I thank you for reading and letting me get it out. Gosh, we miss you all. Stay healthy and have as much fun as you can. Write or respond in the comments about how you and your families are doing if you can – we live for it. Can’t wait to give you hugs in real life once this has passed (and it will pass). Love to you all XOXOXO AM